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"Is the FBI in the habit of cleaning up after multiple murders?"
"Of course. Why do you think it's run by a man called Hoover?"
- submitted by Unruhe
"He was always a rather stupidly optimistic man, I'm afraid it came as a great shock to him when he died."
- submitted by Unruhe
"How many husbands have you had, Mrs. White?"
"Mine or other women's?" "Yours..."
"Five..." "Five?" "Yes just
the five...men should be like Kleenex; soft, strong, and disposable... "
- submitted by Unruhe
"The secret's in the sauce..."
- submitted by Unruhe
"Face it girls - I'm older and I have more insurance."
- submitted by Unruhe
"I'm too young to be old and I'm too old to be young. Maybe I'm going crazy?"
- submitted by Unruhe
"Are you a politician or does lyin' just run in your family?"
- submitted by Unruhe
"See now is the time for courage. Guess you already know that there are angels masquerading as people walking around on this planet, and you mom is the bravest one of these."
- submitted by Unruhe
"Don't say never to me."
- submitted by Unruhe
"You're just a bee charmer..."
- submitted by Unruhe
"A heart can be broken but it keeps on beating just the same."
- submitted by Unruhe
"Goose, you big stud, take me to bed or lose me forever!"
- submitted by Unruhe
"You complete me."
- submitted by Unruhe
"You're my density."
- submitted by ShadowDancer
"Nobody's perfect."
- submitted by Keven
"Shut up and deal."
- submitted by Keven
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."
- submitted by musicluver
"Sometimes Delores, being a b---- is all a woman has to hold on to."
- submitted by Ellie
"This looks like the start of a beautiful friendship."
- submitted by Charles Dorman
"If she can take it, I can take it. Play it."
- submitted by Charles Dorman
"Wendy, I'm home."
- submitted by Charles Dorman
"I'm getting too old for this sort of thing."
- submitted by Charles Dorman
"I find your lack of faith disturbing."
- submitted by Charles Dorman
"I was cured."
- submitted by Charles Dorman
"Don't get saucey with ME, Bernaise."
- submitted by Charles Dorman
"You must excuse me gentlemen, but the head of state must take place over the Head of State!"
- submitted by Woodrow Moses Jr.
"Go back Sam! I'm going to Mordor alone."
"Of course you are, and I'm coming with you!"
- submitted by ShadowDancer
"...as opposed to planet look at me look at me!"
- submitted by Naomi
"They're so thirsty for it they'll travel through the desert for it and when they find out it's a mirage they'll drink the sand."
"People don't drink the sand because they're thirsty. They drink the sand because they don't know any better."
- submitted by Kathleen
"With great power comes great responsibility. This is my gift, my
curse. Who am I? I'm Spider Man."
- submitted by KT
"I say who, I say when, I say WHO....."
- submitted by Teresa
"I've got two words for you.....BRUSH YOUR TEETH!"
- submitted by Rebecca
"'What'. That ain't no country I ever heard of. They speak English in 'What'?"
- submitted by Chub Rock
"Hello Sidney..what's your favorite scary movie?"
- submitted by i
"Gotta love crab. In the nick of time too. I couldn't take much more of those coconuts.
Coconut milk is a natural laxative. That's something Gilligan never told us."
- submitted by Lynn
"Bird-dog him Franky!"
- submitted by Chub Rock
"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius. Commander of the Armies of the
North. General of the Felix Legion. Loyal servant to the true Emperor, Marcus
Aurelius. Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. And I will
have my vengeance in this life or the next."
- submitted by Glen Faulkner
"I'm just a girl standing in a front of a boy, asking him to love her."
- submitted by teNgzqi
"Love? Love. Above all things I believe in love. Love is like
oxygen. Love is a many splendored thing. Love lift us up where we belong. All
you need is love."
- submitted by teNgzqi
"There's three things you don't trust; mother nature, mother in-laws and, mother freaking Ukrainians!"
- submitted by Jessica
"But why is all the rum gone?!"
- submitted by brandilee220
"Yeah. I want you to hold it between your knees."
- submitted by Fred Brennion
"I wanted to apologize. I can't live without you."
"What about Janet?" "Yours..."
"That's over. I got tired of translating everything. She thought the Big Bopper was a hamburger."
- submitted by Stephen Wilson
"Well, Robbie, maybe we should talk about this when you're feeling better?"
"Hey, psycho. I'm not gonna feel better about this. It's over. So please get outta my Van Halen T-shirt before you jinx the band and they break up."
- submitted by Stephen Wilson
"If I was gonna kill ya, I'd use my hands."
- submitted by Angi
"Like I told my ex-wife, I only drive as fast as I can see, and besides, it's all in the reflexes."
- submitted by Woodrow Moses Jr.
"King Kong ain't got nothin' on me."
- submitted by Bradley
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